On a Writer's Mind

Deidre Laurant is on my mind. Yup, the heroine of Waking Up has been on my mind quite a bit lately. So I gave her a call to see what's on her mind. 

Since confronting her fear and subsequently having me write her story, she has been talking with Will about adopting. They haven't made any firm plans since they already have a full house, what will Phoebe's baby on the way (which, I'm told, is a girl!!) but they definitely see themselves adopting in the near future. 

I mentioned to her that a couple people were a little unsettled by her story. She agreed and said that she is still unsettled by her past from time to time. But despite the true horrors (my word, not hers) in her past, she focuses daily on what she has here and now. 

She told me that, looking back, she isn't really certain how she managed to live in New York with such a huge fear. Elevators were often a problem and she found herself going out of her way to avoid them, taking flights upon flights of steps or pausing in a public area until she found someone she felt comfortable riding the lift with. 

Sounds strange, I know, and I told her so. She merely laughed and said how glad she is that I have never had the kind of fear that forced me to go out of my way to avoid the fear trigger. 

"Can you describe what that kind of fear feels like?" I asked her as we began to wrap up the conversation. 

She thought about it for a moment before she said, "No. Unless you experience it yourself, you'll never really understand how a fear drives you to do things a normal person wouldn't."

We made some additional small talk before we said our goodbyes. After hanging up, I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to live for a few days in Deidre's shoes before she truly faced her fear. To force myself to live in a place where I knew I would have to face said fear would be like me living in a spider's web. (You have your fears, I have mine. lol) The spider isn't in the whole web, but I know I would be forced to face it soon enough. What would I be willing to do to live there? Learn to run really fast? Wear some sort of protective clothing that would keep me from sticking to the web?

 

Okay, so a spider's web isn't exactly prime real estate... Even so, it makes me wonder...what would I do to live the life I want when I know that my fears are always right around the corner? 

I suppose a person just does what they have to do to live the life that's right for them.